This just in!

Nephilim returning to Earth to help REDEEM THE PLANET!

Our own Nephy Lim, Celestial Correspondent for all alien species invading Earth, just announced his Galatic P.E.A.C.E. Plan. The plan will be implemented by his “Nephilim In Black,” a brigade of elite extraterrestrial experts who are highly trained in interplanetary management systems.

Nephy Lim, reporting from the Planet Quakmyre at his Intersteller Invasion Campaign headquarters, says that he and his ET cohorts, a motley group of real and fictitious space creatures, have found that religion is the best tool to use!

Rather than CONQUER Planet Earth, they have decided to UNITE the planet with other planetary missional movements across the Galaxy. “This is all part of a grand plan to forge common ground amongst species and cultures,” Nephy explained, “a genuine Galaxy spiritual Quest.”

The 5 points of Nephy Lim’s Galactic P.E.A.C.E. Plan are:

  • Placate with Pragmatism
  • Educate for a Nephilim World Order
  • Act Cool and Be Doctrinally Shallow
  • Contextualize for New Breed Species
  • Evade Suspicion by Blaming Others

Nephy Lim assures us that these 5 principles are tried and tested among all alien groups, and that it is a sure-fire formula for redeeming any planet. He explained, “We think that this subtle but forceful plan of action will be just the trick for overcoming humanity’s handicaps. After all, your leadership gurus use these methods effectively.”

When pressed for a definition of “UNITY” Nephy responded with another acronym. “I learned this nifty acronym technique from your earthling management consultants,” he boasted.

  • United
  • Nephilim
  • In
  • Transitional
  • Yoism

Nephy feels passionately that Yoism, “open source spirituality,” is a perfect spiritual platform for the pending diversity of multi-planet species on planet Earth. “It creates a collective synergy,” Nephy explained, “Humanity needs to take the next step in evolutionary development – to become part of the universal trans-species community. Creating a perfect man redeems the Earth!”

Nephy seemed very happy about that idea. But when asked what he means by “redeem” Nephy explained that he was writing a New Earth Catechism and basing his ideas on Tim Keller’s New City Catechism, especially point A-26: “”Christ’s death is the beginning of the redemption and renewal of every part of fallen creation.”

Nephy exclaimed happily, “This is just the sort of neo-paganism ideal that people need to believe in order to create my New Nephilim Order on Earth! Everyone will be assigned a job to do to redeem the Earth. It must become the utopia it was created to be – I intend to turn it into a literal Garden of Eden spa for all of my returning Nephilim Warriors!”

Nephy gushed, “This is what being interplanetary interspecies missional is all about!”

“However, Tim Keller doesn’t go far enough,” Nephy harrumphed. “My New Reformation P.E.A.C.E. and U.N.I.T.Y plan is about renewing the whole Galaxy, not just New York City! He may be a visional leader to you folks, I think he needs to start thinking universally!”

Nephy says his trained “Nephilim in Black” Brigade is made up of elite change agents to make his plan happen. “I raided Planet Quakmyre on my trip back to earth, so now I have enough cash on hand now to pay my Nephilim management buddies to implement my plans!”

When asked about the object he is holding in his hand, Nephy Lim denied it was a Neuralizer. “But I did get the idea for it from the Men In Black movie.” He sputtered, “But all it does is reprogram your theology!”