“Ok, now let us all gather ‘round little children and I’ll tell you the story about the seeker sensitive ‘Jesus’ of the man-pleasing purpose driven and emerging word faith church…the Ecumenical Church of Deceit…”

Now once upon a time in an ecumenical emerging nation far, far in the very fertile imaginations of a growing number of evangelical Christians, the religious leaders of the day came up with a dastardly purpose driven idea. They would actually conspire to take the life of our Lord and Creator of the world. And this is the tragic story of the sweet seeker sensitive mystic, poet and dreamer—founder of the Christian Faith—Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

For at that time our great Lead Pastor and cultural architect Christ Jesus was offering up prayers with loud cries and tears, all the while touring the various secular venues and cool nightclubs in order to tell people that God is not angry. The Master Teacher also shared His fresh “ground-breaking” message of peace and love and an abundant life with huge crowds who followed Him to large arenas all across the Holy Land. Telling them over and over again about His concern for global problems our Lord had to strive valiantly to develop the emerging spirituality of legions of fans who would eventually ride camels and donkeys en masse to hear His really cool talks about God and other stuff.

And O how Jesus toiled those long hours to try and get these people to understand His purpose driven plan of emergent “Christian” mysticism inter-wound within helpful tips on positive thinking that would then unlock their faith-filled words. This way they could join in with what God was doing around them so they could then also be a better you while living their best life now. With great patience and careful instruction the Master would so very painstakingly preach to them, time after time again, about the power of their faith. He strove to impress upon them the importance of a positive confession over the critical culturally relevant 40 day plans with which God was bringing the Kingdom to earth.

The crack promotion team Jesus assembled worked overtime to scout out the best possible areas whereby using advance publicity they might better prepare this stubborn and rebellious generation to finally come to believe that God said it was okay to want to ride the very best camels and to wear the most expensive designer clothes. After all the Master told them, it’s not about you; and everything has changed, because they were now the King’s kids. Jesus struggled mightily to get these people to experiment with various forms of eastern mysticism and explained to them that God loves you just as you are. Don’t worry; be happy He told them because no one could really know for sure what God wants anyway.

Well, maybe it was a petty jealousy that caused these stodgy ol’ fundamental religious types to plot the Master’s demise while Jesus was forcing Himself to become the most famous and loved social reformer to ever walk His earth. And kids, what an incredible sacrifice this was! Let us never forget that Lord knew He was going to have to work pretty hard to convince this stubborn people to make the difficult sacrifice to come out to His daily performances for a memorable night of merriment and meditation. But still the Master would “worshiptain” the crowds with His rocking praise band of unschooled ordinary barbarians with the really cool hair whose goal was to destroy the faith of our fathers. And Jesus was also willing to make the supreme effort to faithfully tell each and every one of the uplifting and inspirational messages His Father had given Him to preach about the awakening of the human potential to unleash soul craving creativity.

Yes, the strain was nearly unbearable as Jesus told His followers that in order to follow Him to the bank they must deny themselves of their foolish efforts to please their Maker and to just relax. O how difficult it was having to make this ignorant and foolish people finally feel good in their sin. The tedious drive, day after day after day, of playing to those sold out stadiums and the writing of new books. Important writings telling them what their itching ears wanted to hear, which shared the wonderful message of God’s purpose for their lives; everyone should be happy, healthy and prosperous. Eventually this began to wear on Him. But yet, the Lord still forced Himself to keep going despite the hardship of His Own growing wealth so He could teach His followers that by confessing their faith-filled words they would then be giving God permission to work here in the earth realm.

Jesus always did His best to never, ever offend anyone as He worked together with all these religious and secular leaders to bring about God’s goal for the brotherhood all mankind to live together in peace, love and harmony here on earth. But sadly children, even though our Lord taught them that all religions, as long as they’re sincere, lead back to the Sacred, one day these “fighting fundys” suddenly called a secret meeting. But one of His Christ-followers overheard them as they plotted our Lord's demise:

“Hey Caiaphas; c’mere. You know that guy always talking about pleasing the unchurched; Jesus of Nazareth? Yeah, that’s the one; the sweet tolerant Fellow with the glowing complexion—the halo over His head—and the birds landing on Him all the time? Well, I’ve been thinking; Jesus has never criticized us publicly while He has been believing with us for our goal to make sure everyone has a comfortable faith-based life pleasing to themselves.”

“Yeah, I know this a good thing from mankind’s perspective. Work with me here, k. But you know; come to think of it, I can’t really see where this ‘Jesus’ has actually ever even given us the slightest impression that He disagrees with us on anything at all. Anyway, I’m stoked dude about this strak idea I have. Listen. Why don’t we see if we can now totally arrange it so that Jesus gets crucified! Pretty cool plan, huh.”

Of course all of this does seem rather absurd. But all I’ve really done here is to take to its logical conclusion much of this whole pragmatic “postmodern” seeker sensitive and trite pabulum taught today in the American Christian Church. Such is what is passing for genuine Christianity in our timid and tepid time. However, the absolute Truth is that God the Holy Spirit has already warned us long ago in the Bible—His inerrant and infallible Word:

For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough… For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve (2 Corinthians 11:4, 13-15).

Men and women, how much better that, right now, we completely turn our backs on all of these false prophets of the postevangelical Ecumenical Church of Deceit, with it’s repugnant romance of Rome, and finally return to our senses:

“Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshiped beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:14-15).